refute

No, I guess I’m not that tired after all. Now, after writing down how tired I was, I realize that I’m not doing so badly. The post was made after 9 hours of straight working, after spending the night before at a nearby pub. Tsja, eigen schuld, dus :P.

Well, I didn’t plan on going anywhere that night, I’ve actually curled up on the couch, with a nice long novel ready, when my mobile started blipping. It was Wesley, a friend who recently left Holland to open his own cafe somewhere in Liverpool.

Since I missed out on his last goodbye bash, I didn’t have the heart to say no when he asked me to come over to Mertz. He and Nikki had lots to talk about, and everybody was there. Everybody, of course, meaning, ‘my close friends, people who would more than love to meet me after these long months, are you a part of them or not?’.

Going to Mertz itself was no big deal, of course I had loads of fun, since I knew everybody there, and I didn’t stay late. But it’s so typical me to somehow have my days scheduled full – just look at this week: yesterday I had Dirk over, today I’m going over to Irene Cecile to check out her new house, Wednesday is the last day before my boyfriend goes to Germany, so we’re spending it together, Thursday Marielle plans to come over, Saturday there’s a birthday party from Stefan & Margie, and Sunday I’m going to my in laws to be. Which leaves only Friday free. And having promised to bring homemade food to the party Saturday, I’d probably spend Friday night in the kitchen.

And the thing is, I love going out, meeting people, getting inputs, giving outputs, has a way of refreshing me. I suppose that’s why I usually dive headlong into this hum drum of activities.  I keep on forgetting that I also love being alone, that I need quite undisturbed time with myself.

Work doesn’t help either, as I keep on getting more responsibilities. There was a time when I’d skip happily to work, but for the moment, it’s a battlefield out there. Yesterday my boss literally fired one of our vendors, after my report of their incapability. My report must have been the last straw, but still, noticing that what I do actually has a big impact still shocks me in a way. I knew that my supervisor and boss trusted me a lot, but to see that trust turn into a base to stop giving work to another company?? I haven’t even been working here for longer than half a year – not to mention that I’m working as a temp here. Talk about the burden of live up to your boss’ expectations…

But at least I can be thankful, I have a job, I have friends, and normally I’m very happy with my life. Sometimes I just forget to count the blessings He’s so very abundantly given to me, clear as daylight as they sometimes are 🙂

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~ by Anita Fei on January 17, 2006.

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